


Love and Happiness

by Enigmaticrose4



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Love, Romance, happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-01-15 08:44:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1298650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enigmaticrose4/pseuds/Enigmaticrose4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyoya has been widowed for five years now and needs to find a mother to love his daughter, Kimi. What happens when he bumps back into the only woman that has ever affected him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Speed Dating

Love? What's that?

Honestly I'm not sure.

Is love what you feel when you want someone to stay safe?

Is love what you feel when you're happy to be around someone?

That's another question.

What's happiness?

Happiness is what you feel when you're comfortable. It's driven purely by physical stimuli. So yes, I could say I feel happy when I sit under a kotasu with a hot cup of tea and the newspaper. But that isn't happiness like you find in stories.

I don't think I've ever truly felt happiness. Not even on my wedding day.

I married her because my father told me too. She married me for the exact same reason.

I might've felt happiness on the day my daughter was born, but I'm not even sure about that.

I know I was glad that she was born safely. I know that I want to make sure she stays safe, no matter what. But is that really love and happiness? Or is it just my protective instincts and my biological need to procreate?

I do know that I felt sadness when my wife died in a car crash when our daughter was only two. Kimika was too young to lose her mother and I was too untouchable to raise a child properly.

I did make a promise to myself on the day we buried Alianore – I would make sure that Kimi grew up like her mother – believing in love.

Kimi is seven now and she has no idea that I don't love her. She'll never know either, as long as I can help it.

I just wish I had someone in my life who could actually love her properly. She needs a mother. My father wants me to marry again also. He thinks that five years is more than enough time to wait. I can't just marry anyone though; it has to be someone that will love Kimi the way she deserves to be loved.

So that's my mission now – find a woman to love Kimi like her mother did. If love is truly even possible... That's why I'm sitting here at this speed-dating event.

I leave the table of yet another unacceptable woman. I can't believe the twins dragged me to this. Hikaru is probably just here to pick up girls phone numbers, he's become quite the player since his school years in Paris. Kaoru was actually looking for love. I don't know why he still believes in it. Every girl he's loved has either been unaware of it or rejected him harshly.

Haruhi had never realized he loved her until he was already moving on. Renge had laughed in his face when he asked her out. She said he was much too sweet and innocent for her taste. His latest love had been Mei. He had been just about to ask her out when she expressed interest in Hikaru. Kaoru had been too afraid of rejection again and so had looked away his feelings for her.

It was all rather depressing in my opinion. I'm barely able to suppress a yawn as I move on to another woman and another table. As I sit down I let my eyes roam around the room, wondering who the twins were sitting with.

Hikaru is charming some ditsy blonde that I sat with awhile ago and Kaoru is sitting with – oh, that has to be awkward. Mei is here and they're sitting with each other for this turn.

"Kyoya?" A soft voice says from across the table at me.

A feeling of shock washes over me as I look at the woman across the table from me. There, sitting less than a meter away from me is the only woman to challenge my beliefs on love and happiness – Haruhi Fujioka.


	2. Lost in Memories

I managed to get out a very weak, "Haruhi?" before I lost myself in memories. I hadn't seen her since the funeral. She and Alianore had been best friends and Haruhi had been in the car with Alianore during the crash. They had been out shopping, getting a wedding present for Tamaki and Ayame. I was going to go with them, but something kept me at work. I don't really remember what anymore; in the great scheme of things it really isn't important anyway.

I don't know what prompts me to say this, maybe it's the shock of running back into her after all these years or maybe it's because the bell is ringing and I need to move on to another table. But I open my mouth and pop out a question I've always wanted to ask her, but never have.

"Want to grab dinner after this is over?"

She blinks up at me, in the owlish way of hers, before tilting her head to the side, causing her hair to swing around her, and smiles. "I'd love to. I'll meet you out front afterwards."

Someone is waiting to take my seat now, so I have to move on. That doesn't really bother me though. For some reason it's as if a great weight has been lifted off my chest. I hadn't been consciously avoiding her for the past five years; it's just that our paths had never crossed.

We got invited to a lot of the same parties, but one of us usually didn't come because of work. We're both workaholics.

We missed each other at all the weddings over the past five years. I always left early because of Kimi and she always arrived late because, well, that's Haruhi for you.

I caught a glimpse of her at Mori and Hunny's double wedding to Chelsea and Reiko, respectfully. But that was all. Kimi was tired and cranky so we left moments after I saw Haruhi.

Would Haruhi make a good mother to Kimi? She'd certainly make a good wife. She's pretty, refined, successful, and loyal to a fault. I know Kimi likes her. When I'm out of the country Kimi stays with Tamaki and Ayame, and Haruhi spends a lot of time over there because she's the Suoh's personal lawyer now that Ms. Kousaka has given up on being wealthy and moved to a small town in the countryside.

I'm so lost in thought that I don't even realize the speed dating is over until Hikaru strolls over to my seat. "Well, did you see any prospective mothers? I know I saw some you don't want to let anywhere near Kimi." He added with a devilish grin as he winked at the ditsy blonde from earlier.

Kyoya watched as the blonde blushed and gave a fake little giggle in response to Hikaru's wink. "You don't change do you Hikaru?"

"Not if I can help it," Hikaru said before blowing a kiss at the blonde. She fainted.

Kaoru walked up, a dazed look on his face.

I watched Hikaru immediately forget the blonde and turn his attention to his twin. "Hey! Kaoru!" He waved his hand in front of Kaoru's face when he got no response.

Kaoru gave a little jerk, blinked, and then blurted out, "I have a date with Mei!"

Hikaru's devilish grin turned into one of pure joy. "Good for you little brother!"

"Congratulations," I added coolly. You never wanted to show too much emotion to those two, it gave them a weapon. "I have a date with Haruhi." Neither of them heard me say this, which was perfect. I didn't want them to realize we were going out, but I wanted to be able to honestly say I had told them when they did find out. Its a little game I like to play with them, it makes the time go by faster and I find an odd enjoyment in turning the pranksters into victims.

The lady in charge of the event got everyone's attention and announced that we would get the results from our speed dating in our email tomorrow. That was fine with me; I was in no rush to see them. I already had a date with the best prospective mother for Kimi here. Speaking of which…

I excused myself from the twins, saying my car was waiting outside, which was true by the way. I try not to lie; it makes life much more complex and interesting to always tell the truth.

Wandering outside I see Haruhi standing under a streetlight. I think she was looking for me. As soon as I walked out of the door she gave me that adorable little smile of hers.

When I reached her she spoke. For some reason I had trouble understanding her. I think the light bouncing off her hair was distracting me and overriding my senses.

"Does sushi sound good? I need some fatty tuna after that ordeal." She asked me for the second time.

"It works for me. My car is just over here." I hold out my arm for her. When she takes it I escort her to my car, where the chauffer already has the door open.

Once inside I open my mouth to ask to be taken to the fanciest sushi restaurant here in town, but Haruhi beats me to the punch.

"Please take us to Sushimotos." She says clearly and firmly.

When did Haruhi become so confident and sure of herself? We sit there for a moment as the chauffer pulls it up on the GPS and then we're off.

"I've never heard of Sushimotos," I mention, trying to break the silence.

"Oh, it's a family owned place. The father is a master with sushi and the grandfather makes a mean bowl of noodles. Lots of good, savory things, you'll love it." There's silence in the car for another few minutes before she speaks again. "So, what were you doing there? Speed dating doesn't really seem like your sort of thing."

I shrugged, "It's not, but I've been trying to put myself back out there and I don't want another arranged marriage, so the twins dragged me there. I need to be sure the next woman I marry will be good for Kimi, if I can find one. I know Alianore wouldn't want her to grow up without a mother. Why were you there? It's not really your thing either."

I watched, somehow entranced, as Haruhi let out a small giggle. "Mei dragged me there against my will. She didn't want to go alone and since I had the night free….well, I was basically kidnapped."

I smiled at the image of the feisty Mei kidnapping Haruhi. Those two had such an interesting relationship.

We arrived at the restaurant, which proved to be as delightful as Haruhi promised. I don't think I've ever been so well treated in a restaurant. They all knew Haruhi by name and they didn't even let me order. They just brought out dish after dish of delightful savory treats.

As expected, since Haruhi loved it so much, the food was a very reasonable price.

I'm not sure where the evening went. I'm not even sure what we talked about. It was the most fun outing I've had with someone other than Kimi in years.

We ended the night when I dropped her off at her apartment building. Her building was much nicer than the one she lived in while we were at Ouran, but the apartments were still small compared to what I was used to.

At the doorway the two of us stared awkwardly at each other, not sure if we should kiss or not. We ended up giving each other a quick hug and then arranging a date for that Sunday. We'd go to the park together and I'd bring Kimi.

As soon as I arrived home I made a beeline for Kimi's room. Pushing open the door silently I gazed across the dark room to the small form in the overly large bed.

I approach her bed quietly, narrowly avoiding stepping on a Barbie doll. Kimi looks so sweet and innocent laying there. If I believed in love the sight would've brought tears to my eyes. Her dark lashes brushed her pale skin while her russet hair lay in waves around her face. She was gripping her teddy bear tightly, one hand curled around his bowtie.

Sitting on the edge of the bed I lean over and give her light kiss on the forehead, pushing her hair out of the way as I do so. She stirs a little in her sleep, gripping her teddy tighter. Then she settles back down, a sweet smile now on her face.

I get up to leave the room, pausing at the doorway. Then, for some reason, I whisper to the silent room, "Kimi, I think I found someone who can love you like I can't."

Then I pull the door shut and walk down the hall, to my dark and empty bedroom.


	3. Chapter 3: A Trip to the Park

Sunday turned out to be extremely hot and sunny. These conditions, combined with a sweet, yet highly energetic, seven year old are not the best.

It only took Kimi a moment to realize that when I mentioned a day in the park with Haruhi I meant a date. My daughter is much too perceptive; she runs circles around all of the servants. They don't quite know how to deal with her, but they love her anyway. Luckily I'm not as easy to run circles around as they are, though she still gets me sometimes.

Right now she's playing with her Barbies under a nearby tree. I've only recently understood why she finds the Barbies so much fun to play with. I walked in on her yesterday having them reenact a business deal she watched me make the other day when she joined me at work for a few hours. It was slightly disturbing to see my part played by a busty blonde doll.

Haruhi's sitting next to me on the blanket. We haven't spoken since Kimi ran off to play. I wonder what she's thinking about. It's so hard to read her. She's an enigma most of the time. Usually I can read someone instantly, but she's different somehow. Everytime I try and put her into a box she jumps out of it, just like Tamaki.

I think the two of them defy the laws of physics. That's the only explanation I can think of that doesn't start involving magic and fairies.

She looks so peaceful sitting there, staring down the grassy hill at the children playing football. I'm not even sure if she's really seeing them. They're so far away that the black and white ball is barely visible. I wonder what she's thinking about. Is she thinking about me?

Wait, why am I even wondering about that? Do I actually want her as a wife as well as a mother for Kimi? No, I don't need a real wife. I already have an heir; Kimi's more than intelligent and capable enough to take over when I'm gone.

My thoughts are interrupted when Kimi drops her Barbies and comes running back over to us. Plopping down on the blanket she grabs a plum rice ball and takes a bite. She's so intent upon eating that I find myself chuckling, Kimi is extremely focused, just like her mother.

Kimi looked up at me, her mouth still so full of the plum rice ball that she looks like a chipmunk, "What?"

I can't answer; the chuckles are just too strong. As I watch Haruhi opens her mouth to answer, but is stopped when she ends up giggling. The two of us give in to our amusement as my red-headed daughter just sits there, imitating a very confused chipmunk.

I'm the first to recover, through the remaining chuckles I manage to get out, "Kimi…you look like a chipmunk."

"Papa! That's not very nice!" She exclaimed after she swallowed the rice ball.

"It's true though," Haruhi put in. "You did look rather chipmunky with the entire rice ball in your mouth. You really shouldn't put the entire thing in your mouth like that."

I'm surprised to see that Kimi immediately looks mollified. If I said something like that to her she would give me a look, stick out her bottom lip, and pout.

"Will you come play with me Miss Haruhi? I'll let you play Lawyer Barbie." I watched as Kimi turned on every ounce of charm she had on Haruhi.

"I want to eat another rice ball first. Why don't you run along, I'll be with you in a minute Kimi," Haruhi grabbed a rice ball and took a bite as Kimi ran off back to her Barbies.

Somehow, Haruhi was able to resist it. I'm not sure how. Even I have trouble resisting her charm. I'm sure it's because I feel sorry for her, it's not like she has a mother to love her – if there even is love at all. I know I've said I don't believe in it, but that's not entirely true.

I know there are a series of bonds created through genetics, caring, and companionship. It's easiest to call this love, but whatever it is; I'm not capable of it.

It's been scientifically proven that the ability to feel love needs to be instilled in you during childhood. That's why it's so important for me to find a mother for Kimi, I don't want her childhood and emotions stunted like mine were.

My mother died mere hours after I was born and she never even saw me. During her last conscious moments she asked to see my father and my older brothers. She wanted nothing to do with her only daughter or the baby boy that had killed her. That's why I never had friends until Tamaki forced his way in.

Tamaki and the others honestly do care about me, they weren't starved for affection as children. That's why I do my best to keep them happy – there's another one of those impossible concepts – and safe. I'm honor bound to protect the people that love and care for me, even if I'm unable to do so in return.

Haruhi's over playing with Kimi now – her brunette head almost touching Kimi's russet one. They look so innocent and carefree. I wish I could be like that. Somehow Fuyumi escaped our childhood with the ability to love. I think that's because she loved me from the moment I was born. I never got the chance to learn how to love her though. Father made sure of that.

"Papa! Come play with us!" Kimi's voice breaks through my inner thoughts.

She's giving me that charming look she used on Haruhi a few minutes ago. Unlike Haruhi, I can't resist it.

When I join them I'm instantly handed the only male doll, Ken.

"Papa, you're the judge, Miss Haruhi is the lawyer and I'm the witness!" Kimi says this proudly as she begins to arrange the other dolls to look like a jury.

"Um, what is the trial about?" I whisper in Haruhi's ear.

She giggled a little, looking utterly adorable. "Apparently a chipmunk is accused of stealing a rice ball."

"What will she think of next?" I muse out loud before I'm pulled into a mockery of a trial that looks like it might last all day, but I don't mind. I'm having fun and finding enjoyment watching my daughter and Haruhi be happy.


	4. A Triple Date

The next few months passed rather quickly in my opinion. Haruhi and I squeezed dates in whenever our work schedules allowed it, which was maybe once a week.

Usually it was just the two of us, but a couple times Haruhi came over and cooked dinner for Kimi and myself, which annoyed my chef to no end. Not that it bothered me, I love Haruhi's cooking, I always have. I wouldn't have admitted that during our time at Ouran though.

Tonight Kimi is spending the night with Tamaki and Ayame. She considers their daughter, Elise, to be her private property. The two of them have a three year age difference and yet they have a strong, if odd, friendship.

I sent her over there because tonight Haruhi and I have a triple date. Not that Hikaru and Kaoru know this. They think it's a double date with Mei, Kaoru, Haruhi, and Hikaru. They still haven't realized Haruhi and I are dating and it's been three months.

So, I'm coming as Haruhi's date and we're setting Hikaru up on a blind date with the head chef at one of my restaurants. I'm wondering how long it will take for him to realize that he met Kanoya in high school.

She still looks a lot like Haruhi, but their personalities have diverged even more – except for a strong sense of self-reliance that they share. Ever since that day at the Host Club she refuses to let anyone walk over her, that, combined with her ability to cook, make her restaurant one of the most popular ones in Tokyo.

That's where we're going tonight actually. Megumi Masterpieces is located on the twentieth floor of a high-rise. It combines magnificent views with even more magnificent food. Honestly it was one of my earliest and best investments.

I should be at Haruhi's apartment in a minute or two, and then it's only five blocks to the restaurant. Kaoru, Mei, and Hikaru are riding together and Kanoya will meet us there.

We pull up at Haruhi's building to find her already waiting outside. Before the chauffer can even put the car in park she's opened the door and hopped in next to me. Some things never change.

"So, do the twins know you and Kanoya will be there? Mei still has no idea." She asked as she gave me a quick hello hug.

I'm not sure when she started hugging me in our greetings; it was a week or two ago though I think. I'm not sure because it just feels so right, like when I hug Kimi.

"No idea that I know of. It's amazing how blind the three of them have been to our relationship, it's not like we've been actively hiding it." I answer her, hoping it will lead into one of our heavy discussions, they're so fascinating.

"Kyoya, they aren't really blind. They just can't picture us together because we never showed an interest in each other before and they know we haven't talked in five years."

I noticed how she avoided mentioning Alianore's death. I assume it's still painful for her. The two of them have been good friends since they went to University together. It's not really painful for me. Sure, I regret losing Alianore, but I had to put it behind me, for Kimi. It's my duty to make sure she has a wonderful life and doesn't lose the ability to feel love and happiness.

"That doesn't excuse them. We've gone on at least one date a week for the past three months. Mei lives in the apartment next to yours, surely she realizes you're going somewhere."

"Of course she realizes I'm going somewhere, but she just thinks it's work or the Suoh's house. After all, those are the only places I went before the speed dating event."

I remembered the speed dating event like it was from a dream. Every moment was rather hazy and unreal, except for the moment I heard Haruhi say my name. I still haven't opened the results of the event. They're sitting unread in my email box. I'm not sure why, but for some reason I'm afraid to open it up and not see Haruhi's name. I've never asked her if she looked at hers and found my name either. It just doesn't feel like the time.

"If she wanted to she could see the clues. The twins are just like her though; they also don't want to see us together. I did tell them on the night of the speed dating that I had a date with you, they never responded and I don't think they heard me."

She gave me a look, "Kyoya, you deliberately made sure they didn't hear you, didn't you?"

How does she do that? No one else has ever learned my trick of telling without telling. How does she? I swear, Haruhi is the only person in the world to look past the cool façade I wear like an expensive suit – comfortably and proudly.

"I can neither confirm nor deny that."

A smile crosses her face and she leans over to give me another hug as the car pulls to a stop. She then clambers out of the car before the chauffer can even get out. It takes me a minute to compose myself. That hadn't been a hello hug. That had been a hug filled with her happiness and joy. That had warmed me, but it hadn't been what put me in shock. The feel of her small, soft body pushed up against me and then taken away so quickly drove all the air out of my lungs. She'd never pressed herself against me in any of our hugs before and our kisses had always been chaste pecks.

I may be unable to feel love, but I can certainly feel lust.

Haruhi was definitely a bit more mature under her clothes than she had been during our days at Ouran. I don't think anyone could mistake her for a boy now, even if she did cut her hair.

I'm torn out of my shock when Haruhi leans down and sticks her head in the door, "Coming Kyoya?"

"Uh, ya, I'm coming," I manage to get out as I slide across the seat and out of the car.

She smiles happily up at me and slips her small hand into mine as we make our way inside. I don't know why, but I've never really noticed her physically until tonight.

I don't know why, I know she's grown and changed. I knew that after the first few minutes of our first date. I've never seen her as a physical object though, I think that's why. When all the other boys in the club were going on about her cuteness in various outfits I saw her for her mind and her usefulness to the Host Club.

She looks stunning tonight though. She's wearing a little black dress that covers quite a bit while not leaving much to imagination. She looks so grown up and mature, how could I have been seeing her as she used to be for the past three months?

Was I blinded so much by my want of a mother for Kimi that I didn't see the possibility of a wife for me?

The maître d at Megumi Masterpieces takes us to a small room in the back. Kaoru and Mei are making goo-goo eyes at each at one of the tables while Hikaru leans back in his chair and types away on his iPhone.

He manages to look up from his iPhone for a second, sees us, looks down again, and then looks up and drops his phone and his self on the floor as he realizes who we are.

"Kyoya! What are you doing here? And with Haruhi?" He exclaimed from where he was sprawled on the floor.

Before Haruhi or I have the chance to answer Kaoru and Mei stop looking at each other long enough to notice us. Matching looks of shock appear on their faces.

"We're dating," I manage to say as coolly as I can, despite the urge to burst out laughing at their expressions. "Don't you remember me telling you I had a date with Haruhi at the speed dating even three months ago?"

"Um, no, we don't," Kaoru answered.

"Ah, that must've been because you were so excited about your date with Mei." I manage to keep a straight face as I pull a chair out for Haruhi.

By now Mei has recovered from her shock, "Haruhi! Why didn't you tell me! I mean, who's going to be Hikaru's date if you have Kyoya? No! The evening is ruined!"

She actually looked near tears because of this. I opened my mouth to calm her down for some reason. I think Haruhi has affected my brain or something.

"Oh, grow up Mei. I've been dropping hints for three months, but you were so caught up in your romance with Kaoru that you never asked me if I met anyone at the speed dating event or saw any of the hints. Anyway, Kyoya's taken care of Hikaru's date." Haruhi somehow said this all with a straight face before disappearing into her menu. I heard a distinctive, choked giggle come from behind the menu.

That almost made me lose it entirely, I had to disappear behind my own menu to hide the grin that escaped. The looks on their faces! Priceless.

Kanoya joined us a few minutes later. After Hikaru got over his shock he turned all of his charms on her, but like I expected, they didn't work. Kanoya's too devoted to her job to let some flirting distract, even for an evening. She only agreed to do this as a favor for me. That's part of the reason I asked her to do this, Hikaru needs someone that doesn't fall all over themselves for him.

The evening turned out to be a success. Haruhi and I had an enjoyable time, Kaoru and Mei spent the evening giving each other lovey-dovey looks, and Hikaru seems to have found himself entirely smitten with Kanoya.

I'm not sure how it happened. But when Haruhi and I were back in the limo she ordered the chauffer to drive around for an hour, then she put the tinted divider up, and turned off the intercom. Before it registered on me that she had done any of these things she was sitting on my lap, her face only centimeters from mine.

"Kyoya, I want to test a theory." I don't even get to ask her what the theory is before her lips were on mine.

It was a kiss unlike any other kiss I had ever experienced. It put all my previous kisses to shame, even the ones I had shared with Alianore.

Her soft little body is curled up in my arms as the kiss goes on and on. For the first time ever I lose myself in something purely physical.

When I finally dropped her off at her apartment our clothes and hair are mused and our lips are swollen. As we share one last goodbye kiss I get the feeling that she'd let me stay the night if I wanted to. But I don't think I should, I want this relationship to last.

Not only will Haruhi make a good mother for Kimi, but she'll make a good wife for me.


	5. A Mischievous Angel

The hot water flows all around me, relaxing me, washing off all the stress of the last few years. My eyes drift closed as I give myself over to the heat, letting myself just float, weightless, in the hot spring. I feel so peaceful and content, it's a new feeling and I find it to be wonderful.

A soft hand touches my shoulder as a soft mouth connects with mine. I open my eyes to see who is kissing me, but I honestly don't need to, I can tell just from the kiss – it's Haruhi.

A small moan comes from the back of my throat as the kiss deepens. My arms go around her and draw her closer. As our skin touches I realize that she's naked also.

Our kisses become more passionate, more intense; she's making little mewling sounds as I nibble on her neck. I moan as she grips my hair and pulls me closer. I move my hands lower, wanting to touch what I haven't touched before…

"KYOYA!"

I jerk up in bed, heartbeat racing, and yelp as my head makes a loud cracking sound as it meets someone else's.

"Ow! Kyoya! Why'd you do that! It hurt!" Though I can't see a thing without my glasses on I recognize the voice instantly – it's Tamaki.

"What – the – hell – Tamaki." I manage to bite this out in my angriest tone as I reach for my glasses. Once I get them on I look around the room. Tamaki isn't the only one in here.

Kaoru and Hikaru are lounging on the couch, as far away from me as possible. Hunny is sitting on Mori's shoulders; the two of them are at the foot of the bed. Considering their skill, they honestly have nothing to fear from me, I'm not an idiot. Only Tamaki appears stupid enough to be within easy reach of me. His mistake.

My hand snaps out, grabbing Tamaki's tie, I drag him in so his face is mere centimeters away from mine. "Tamaki, I WILL kill you this time. I promised I would last time and I'm going to make that promise come true right NOW."

Tamaki just barely has time to gulp in fear before I toss him towards the twins, the three of them land in a tangle of legs and arms. Seeing them like this makes me feel better, I might just not kill Tamaki now.

"What are all of you doing here anyway?"

"Oh, that's easy," Hunny said cheerfully. "We want to know if your intentions towards Haruhi are honorable."

I blink in shock at the two cousins. Hunny has a wide cheerful smile on his face and Mori's face is completely empty, except for the one raised eyebrow.

"Of course my intentions are honorable. I wouldn't waste my time on pursuing a woman I didn't intend to marry, especially Haruhi." I rolled my eyes. "Do all of you honestly think I would play with Haruhi and her emotions?"

"No," Hikaru said firmly as he untangled himself from Kaoru and Tamaki. "Just that you'll treat her like you did Alianore. She loved you with every part of her soul and body, yet you were barely friends with her."

What did he mean I was barely friends with her? Sure, I didn't love Alianore. Love is an illusion that's impossible for me to see. That didn't stop me from caring for her though. I made sure she had every comfort. I took her on trips to exotic places, I fulfilled her every wish, and if I was capable of love my heart would've been broken on the day she died.

I told her everything, she even knew about what my mother did on the day I was born. Well, there was one thing I never told her. I never told her that I loved her, I won't lie and saying that would be a lie.

But…

"Of course I was her friend, I told her more than I ever told any of you – even Tamaki."

Five faces stare back at me disbelievingly. Why won't they believe me? Don't they realize that I don't lie? They've known me for years, they should realize this. They're my friends.

My eyes meet Tamaki's. "Tamaki, you know I don't lie. Alianore was a closer friend to me than even you. I told her things that I could never tell you. And that doesn't just mean bedroom things," I add upon seeing the glimmer of mischief appearing in the twin's eyes.

Tamaki smiled at me in that innocent, happy way of his. "Of course you're telling the truth Kyoya. You may step around the truth or ignore it, but you don't lie. I know that."

"Do you love her?" Mori asked me, getting straight to the point.

Now this is a difficult question. I can't lie and say I do. I also can't say that I might or that I'm on my way. There's only one truthful way to answer this without gaining their anger.

"It's too early to know, but I promise I won't propose unless I know."

See what I mean about always telling the truth being trickier than lying? Nowhere in that sentence did I saw I wouldn't propose if I didn't love her, I'm just letting them assume that. After all, if I promised that she could never be mine and I don't want that, Kimi needs her.

Hunny smiled brightly, "That sounds good to me! Now let's go get breakfast! Everyone's waiting downstairs."

"What do you mean everyone? My chef isn't used to cooking breakfast for more than two." I blurt out. Just what have these idiots done?

"Oh! Don't worry; Haruhi is lending him a hand," Tamaki declared as he ran out the door, Kaoru hot on his heels.

Why were they in such a rush?

"Who's down there?" I try rephrasing my question, hoping someone will answer it.

Hikaru decides to answer me, good thing, since he's the only one left in the room. I proceed to get dressed while he answers.

"Hunny brought Reiko and their twins, Genji and Fusao. Mori brought Chelsea and their daughter, Rebecca. Ayame came with Tamaki when he brought Kimi back home. Oh, and Haruhi is here of course. Mei's with her, she caught Haruhi leaving the apartment this morning and tagged along. Kaoru was ecstatic when he found out. Since we were having this intervention we decided to make a party of it."

Hikaru finishes talking just as I finish with my last button. I'm just wearing black jeans, a blue button up shirt, and house shoes. No need to be formal with this crowd and knowing Haruhi she'll approve of this look. She's always been one for the simple look.

Wait…am I dressing in such a manner as to gain approval from Haruhi?

Why?

I can't love her, that's impossible for me.

Is it because I want her to be happy and her approval shows me she's happy?

Yes, that is the only logical answer. Nothing else makes sense.

Shaking my head to clear it of these confusing thoughts I follow Hikaru out of the room and down to my giant dining room.

"Papa!"

A whirlwind of red throws herself into my arms as soon as I enter. Picking her up I snuggle her close. Even though we were separated for just a night it feels like longer. I don't like Kimi being away from me. I can't protect her from afar, it just isn't the same.

As soon as I put Kimi down she's across the room – joining Mori's daughter, Rebecca, at a small table set for the two of them.

"Morning Kyoya," Haruhi whispers this as she pulls me down for a quick kiss.

My insides feel like they're melting as I remember the dream from earlier. If only I'd been allowed to stay in that dream… I might kill Tamaki yet, especially if that dream doesn't come true soon. I can't let it come true until we're a more stable couple.

I'm hoping to build a marriage here and that requires a firm foundation, sleeping together too early will just unsettle the foundation.

"Good morning Haruhi, thanks for coming." I manage to get this out in a normal tone, despite the physical turmoil I'm in.

She looks up at me, her head tilts to the side, and then she says: "You had no idea anyone was coming over did you?"

I relaxed and allowed a chuckle out. Now that she was no longer touching me I was gaining control of myself again, "Nope, not at all."

She giggled, "I figured as much. If you had known you would've told me last night. Why'd they do this?"

I opened my mouth to answer her but suddenly found her gone. Mei had come out of nowhere and dragged her off to a corner to talk. My eyes narrowed and I began to head in the girls' direction when I found myself accosted by Tamaki and Ayame.

"Kyoya, I demand that you get your researchers to produce something. I can't sell nothing for you!" Ayame demanded as Tamaki looked as innocent as possible.

Ayame actually works for me, not the Suoh Family – basically because I pay her more. She's been working for me since we graduated from Ouran High School. I give her products or ideas and she sells them to the highest bidder. She's an amazing salesperson.

That's how she and Tamaki got together actually. His father wanted her skills for the Suoh family so tasked Tamaki with wining and dining her away from me. It didn't work that way.

Six months after that started they were walking down the aisle and Ayame was still working for me. Now they're trying for a child and enjoying spoiling mine.

"Ayame, you're a good enough salesperson to sell music to a deaf man. I'm sure you can sell nothing."

Her eyes narrowed as Tamaki pretended to not be there.

"Kyoya Ohtori! I will not be–"

I cut her off by giving Tamaki 'the look'. He immediately pulled Ayame into his arms and gave her the most passionate kiss possible. After a quarter of a second she returned it.

I walked off, that distraction worked every time.

Hunny and Reiko are sitting at the table feeding their twins. Genji and Fusao are only fourteen months old and are definitely looking to be as adorable as their father.

Mori and Chelsea are eating and reading the newspaper. Mori isn't looking away, but I notice that Chelsea keeps looking over at Rebecca and Kimi.

Since she's keeping an eye on Kimi…Yes! Kaoru has grabbed Mei and is feeding her little tidbits of something and Hikaru is stuffing his face and texting someone - probably Kanoya. I'm sure she's going to get a restraining order on him if he doesn't let up some. I'll deal with that later though.

Now's my chance, I move across the room quickly and follow Haruhi into the kitchen.

She's almost to the fridge when I grab her hand and pull her outside.

"Kyoya, what are you doing?"

"I want to show you something."

We continue to move through the garden, until we're in a small gazebo that Alianore had put in.

I pull her down onto a bench. She's looking at me with curiosity in her beautiful brown eyes.

"Haruhi, the others raised a point this morning. I want you to know that I am serious about our relationship. You know that don't you?"

"That's why they organized this – idiots. Of course I know that Kyoya. You're a father who obviously loves his daughter. You aren't going to go on dates with her and a woman unless you considered the relationship to be serious. You brought Kimi along on the second date, that day in the park. I knew right then that you were serious. Also," she smiled at me, "you're Kyoya Ohtori, and you don't waste your time on frivolous relationships. It's just not in you."

How does she know me so well? Sure, she's wrong about me loving Kimi. She's mistaking my paternal urge to protect and nurture as love, but that's alright. The rest is so dead on, it's no wonder I want her to be mine. It's too early to ask her that though that isn't far off. We have a connection that can't be found with anyone else. I know it.

"I thought you did, but I wanted to be sure." Talking disappears for several minutes as we engage in some enjoyable kisses. Eventually my mind remembers her comment from the night before. When we separate for air I ask, "Haruhi, what did you mean about 'testing a theory' last night?"

She blushes, "Oh, well, Alianore always said you were the best kisser in the world. I disagreed; Kassanoda is a very good kisser you know and he was my boyfriend at the time. She kissed Kassanoda before the two of you were engaged though and she still proclaimed that you were the best. My theory was that she was wrong. Well, my theory was proven wrong last night, she was right, you are the best kisser."

THAT was what made her kiss me? Alianore declaring me to be a better kisser than Kassanoda?

As I chuckle and go in for another kiss I send a prayer to heaven – if there is such a thing. Alianore, you are a mischievous angel. I can't believe you said that about me. It must be true though, if both you and Haruhi think so. You're both intelligent women and I trust your judgment.


	6. Utterly Lost

There's a funny story behind Kimi's name. I don't know why that thought came out just now. Maybe because of the date, yes, that's probably it.

If I believed in fate I would think it was playing tricks on me. On today, seven years ago, Alianore finally came up with a name for our unborn child. I had deferred all naming choices to her. After all, I was basically picking the baby's last name, why should I pick out the other names as well?

She was sitting there on the couch, her feet up on a footstool, giving relief to her swollen ankles. She had been eating a chocolate and marshmallow crepe. Alianore had developed a huge craving for crepes there near the end of her pregnancy. It didn't matter what she ate, it had to be on a crepe. I don't think I've eaten a crepe since that time. Even seven years later I'm still sick of them, well, I digress.

She was lazing there on the couch, enjoying her crepe fix, and watching reruns of some stupid American show involving a bunch of talking babies that got into adventures. I was trying to ignore and get some work done on my laptop when she decided.

"That's it! Our daughter is going to be named Kimi! After her!" She pointed happily at the television which depicted a little dark-haired baby girl in a yellow dress.

"Really? You want to name her after an American children's television character?" I couldn't keep the sarcasm and disbelief out of voice. It was just too ridiculous.

"Kyoya! Don't make of fun of me!" She held the crepe in a threatening manner.

All this did was amuse me, but I played along. "I give! I give! Our daughter shall be named Kimi. Just don't hit me with that crepe!" She gave me a suspicious look, so I added one more line, "It's almost impossible to get chocolate out of white linen."

That was just a normal day to me, but for some reason the date stuck in my mind – June 27th. I'm not sure why it stuck, but it did.

On this date, five years ago, my wife left me forever. I remember the moment clearly. I was sitting in my office here at the house working on my laptop. I can't remember what I was working on anymore, but I do remember Kimi.

She was in her playpen near my desk, doing something with blocks and plastic figurines. I think she was building a castle, I'm not sure, it didn't look like much. Really, she was old enough then to not need a playpen. She was almost two, but it was safer, since my office isn't childproof.

I was just sitting there, typing away, when the phone rang. Thinking nothing of it I answered, only to hear the police on the other end. They said Alianore and Haruhi had been in an accident. They told me that Alianore was on her way to the hospital, where they were going to perform emergency surgery.

Alianore was my friend and the mother of my daughter – a part of me began screaming inside. It must have shown on my face because Kimi took one look at me and began screaming. She wouldn't even calm when I picked her up, she knew something was wrong.

I couldn't leave her with the servants when she was like that, so I rushed to the hospital with Kimi.

While waiting for news on Alianore we visited Haruhi. She had been on the other side of the car and had escaped with only a mild concussion and some cracked ribs. Still, I remember how frail she looked, lying there on that hospital bed, her brown hear the only color in the room.

Kimi was still panicked, so Haruhi opened her arms and let Kimi crawl into them. When she fell asleep I excused myself and went to go ask about Alianore again.

Before I could even ask, my question was answered.

"I'm sorry Mr. Ohtori, her injuries were too extensive. We couldn't stop the bleeding." His eyes grew kind, not that I could tell. For the first and only time in my life tears appeared in my eyes. "Could you come identify the body please?"

I had numbly followed the doctor, a few tears slipping down my cheeks. It only took a second to identify her body. Her red hair no longer looked alive, in hung there limply, barely framing her face. She looked so tiny and frail lying there – even more so than Haruhi had been.

It was right then that I realized that love was truly impossible for me. My wife lay there dead and my only thought was the effect this would have on Kimi and her health.

The next week passed in a blur as the funeral was arranged.

The funeral was the last time I had a conversation with Haruhi before that fateful night at the speed dating event.

I remember her, sitting there in the wheelchair, dressed in a simple and unflattering black dress. Her ribs were still too injured for her to stand for very long, the doctor required her to use the wheelchair during the funeral. It was a battle, but eventually she agreed.

I stood there, my face a mask, Kimi in my arms. The only time she hadn't been in them was when I helped carry the coffin over. My friends were there to help me. Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru, Mori, and Hunny all helped me carry Alianore to her final resting spot.

After it was all over Haruhi wheeled herself over and gently took my hand. I remember staring down into her brown eyes and finding only comfort.

"Kyoya, it wasn't your fault."

"I know."

"What are you going to do now?"

"Keep living, Kimi needs me."

"Do you want me to help you with her?"

"No, you have to finish your law degree. We'll manage."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

I wonder sometimes what would have happened if I'd taken her up on that offer. Would we be married by now? Probably.

Taking Haruhi up on that offer would've been wonderful for Kimi, but horrible for Haruhi. Her grades would've suffered and she wouldn't be where she is right now.

And right now she's with me and Kimi as we clean Alianore's tombstone. We have flowers, food, and incense to lay on it.

But first it must be cleaned. We have to wash away a year of dirt that signifies five years of lost moments and shattered childhoods.

Kimi was always more serious after the funeral. She never built castles again or asked to play house. She always followed me around and her games showed this. Her Barbies never just had fun, they always dealt with business.

Maybe, just maybe, when I clean this tombstone next year Haruhi will still be with us and Kimi will have found out how to be less serious in her games.

It only takes about an hour to do everything, then the three of us get in the car and head to a small restaurant, where we can eat and remember Alianore.

There's no such thing as fate, only coincidence. There's no such thing as happiness, only positive physical stimuli. There's no such thing as love, only hormones.

So why do I think the circumstances of this day were caused by fate? Why do I think I'm feeling happy right now with my daughter and Haruhi with me? Why do I feel something besides lust or friendship when I look at Haruhi? Why do I feel more than honor and parental instincts when I look at Kimi?

I don't know.

I just don't know.

It makes no sense.

Alianore, please help me.

For the first time ever I'm lost.

Completely and utterly lost.


	7. Like a Dream

The past month has been like a dream to me. I'm not sure if it's been a good dream or a nightmare though. All of my beliefs, my theories, my barriers, they're all crumbling around me.

I'm sure now that love and happiness are more than hormones and positive physical stimuli. I've been given too much proof to not see it.

The proof is there when I see Kimi and Haruhi sitting on the couch, reading a story, as I pay bills. It's there whenever the three of us sit down to a meal together. I can't escape it, it's there, it's real, and I've been blind. I've been more than blind, I've been wrong.

I'm never wrong.

This is impossible.

And yet, it's the truth and I can't deny the truth.

I can never deny the truth.

That's how I know that Kimi feels true happiness, like in the books and movies, as she takes a deep breath and prepares to blow out her candles.

Her eyes now sparkle and dance all the time, when they used to only shine. Whenever it's just the two of us she chatters away at a kilometer a second, telling me about anything and everything she can think of. Her favorite topic of conversation is Haruhi. Just last week I asked her what she wanted for her birthday and she told me: "Papa, can you make Miss Haruhi my new mommy for my present? I promise I don't want anything else."

My breath had hitched and if I wasn't so grounded in science I would've thought that my heart had skipped a beat. Sure, I've been thinking of marrying Haruhi the entire time for Kimi, but to be asked outright like that…it was almost too much. Luckily all my training and control got me through the moment. I let out a small chuckle, ruffled her hair, and said, "It's a little early for that, but maybe for Christmas."

"Ok Papa, but I hope Christmas comes fast. I love Miss Haruhi, she makes me so happy. Like you do." Then she had skipped off to go do whatever little girls do on beautiful summer afternoons.

Her words only made my life even more like a dream. The only person Kimi had ever said "I love you" to was me. She'd never said it to any of her grandparents or aunts and uncles. This has always made Fuyumi rather sad. Since, up until recently, she's had no child of her own and Kimi's had no mother, she's tried to be a mother to her. It hasn't worked out well. Kimi is just too much like me to accept Fuyumi's exuberant attentions easily.

Poor Zackarie, Alianore's brother, hasn't had much luck with her either. Kimi adores him, but he's always been a bit too relaxed for her comfort. I wonder if that will have changed now. I hope so. Zackarie and his partner, Mamoru, are really great guys that just want to love and spoil her when they take a pause in their travels.

I guess we'll find out today. After Kimi's party is over we're having a small dinner, just family and friends, to celebrate it.

"What did you wish for?" A little boy from Kimi's class called out once the candles were extinguished.

"If I say it won't come true!" Kimi declares as Haruhi begins pulling candles out of the cake. I know what she wished for though, it's quite obvious in the sideways glance she gives me before she begins talking animatedly to a little girl in green.

A few minutes later Haruhi has served the cake to the children and the two of us have retreated to a corner to watch.

I gently pull Haruhi into my arms, so that her back is pressed to my chest and her head is tucked comfortably under my chin. We watch the animated children for a moment in silence; no child there at the table is more animated than my Kimi though. She's like a star among pearls. Every child there is wonderful and precious, but they don't shine. Only Kimi does that.

"Thank you," I say softly in Haruhi's ear.

"For what?" She asks in a confused tone.

"For just being you, that's all. I think this is the happiest I've ever seen Kimi and it's your doing."

"Nonsense, it's not all my doing, you're a wonderful father."

I twist a little as I put a hand under her chin and tilt her head so we're looking each other in the eye. "That may be true, but what I said is also true. You've changed our world Haruhi." I lean in and the two of us are soon sharing one of those sweet, delicate kisses that are as rare as true happiness.

I know now that happiness is real and that's what I've been feeling these past few months. Haruhi makes me happy – happy in a way that I have never felt before. Looking back, I know now that I've felt real happiness before. I just refused to see it. After all, do I even deserve happiness?

True, I'm successful now and I have a wonderful daughter and a magnificent girlfriend, but this wasn't always the truth. For most of my life I was an unwanted third son, comparable to the unwanted daughter. As my father told me when I was five, after I got my only non-perfect score on a test, "You've been a disgrace since the day your birth murdered my wife and you'll be a disgrace until you die serving your brothers."

I remember thinking then that the tales my nanny told me that were so full of love and happiness were lies. Nothing so pure and precious as them could exist in a world as miserable as mine. It was only later, during that first year with Tamaki that I realized that love and happiness do exist, but there are perfectly logical, physical reasons for them.

Now though, as I kiss Haruhi while my daughter has her best birthday ever I realize, finally, that love and happiness are real. I'm happy merely to see my daughter so happy. There's no physical stimulus there. My happiness is only gained through an emotional level right now. Though having Haruhi in my arms as I kiss her does make me happy.

I know also now that love is real. It's what Kimi feels towards Haruhi and me, but I'm sorry that I can't return it. Love is an ability that is learned during childhood, before puberty, and I never got to learn how to love. That won't stop me from being happy though, I won't let it. I'm going to make sure Kimi gets the love she needs and make us a happy family in the process.


	8. Goodnight, Kimi!

Kimi's party ended promptly at two. Haruhi was gone by three to go get ready for that evening. Kimi and I were ready promptly at five. Our guests had all arrived by half past five.

Unfortunately, nothing else that evening was as prompt. Dinner was late because the oven decided to be difficult. Tamaki got us singing Happy Birthday before the cake even made it through the door. He saw the candlelight from around the door, started signing, and of course everyone followed him. Then Kimi didn't get all seven candles out in one blow and started to get upset, until Haruhi smiled at her.

The worst part though was the presents. Everyone thought Kimi should open their gift first.

Tamaki almost pitched a fit, only Ayame's glare kept him under control. I don't know why he was so excited about giving her a French children's tea set. She never has tea parties.

Then Mei pushed her way to the front, dragging Kaoru behind her, to deliver their present. It was a make-up bag full of child safe flavored chapstick and other assorted beauty products. I noticed that Kimi had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes.

Zackarie and Mamoru were a little better. They just smiled at her until she gave in and opened their present. It was a book full of photographs that Zackarie had taken of locals around the world. It was really quite amazing. Kimi kept flipping through it asll night. I got the feeling that after I married Haruhi her next wish would be to visit every single place in those pictures.

Hunny and Reiko gave her some pretty clothes. Hunny declared that he couldn't wait to see her in them. Kimi actually doesn't seem to mind their usual gift of clothes. She knows they picked out every article of clothing with love and care.

Hikaru's gift was one of the most popular, but it annoyed me to no end. He got her one of those plastic playhouses. Except that this one was a castle, with a slide, and a secret door in the fireplace. I have no idea where I'm going to put that. It won't match the décor in any of the rooms or gardens.

Mori and Chelsea gave her some more Barbies, which luckily included another Ken doll. She really does need more men in her Barbie courtrooms and business deals. I feel rather lonely being the only man in there.

Fuyumi and her husband gave Kimi a very badly hand-knitted orange sweater. I'm sure Fuyumi made it herself in an attempt to be a proper housewife, even now she's still trying to impress our father. Luckily they also gave her a pair of cute rainboots and an umbrella. Both looked like frogs, which made Kimi squeal in delight. She loves frogs for some reason.

Haruhi's gift was simple, yet loved. She got Kimi a new leather school bag with her initials on it. Inside were some notebooks and a book about a boy that used technology to take over his father's company and make him buy the boy a pony. Over the next several months Kimi read that book so often that the binding began to fall apart. I sympathized with the boy, but sure hoped it didn't give Kimi any ideas. She was certainly smart enough to pull of what I and they boy did.

My gift to Kimi was possibly even more practical than Haruhi's gift. I gave her a desktop computer. For awhile I had considered a laptop, but eventually decided that a seven year old doesn't need to be taking their computer anywhere.

"Thank you so much everyone. This is the best birthday ever!" Kimi said happily as everyone said their goodbyes and filed out the door.

When it was only Haruhi, Kimi, and me left Kimi threw herself into our arms and gave us a huge hug. "Goodnight Papa, goodnight Miss Haruhi. Thank you for making my birthday so lovely."

"Goodnight Kimi, thank you for letting me share it with you." Haruhi said happily as she returned Kimi's hug.

I squatted down so that I was eye level with my daughter. "Goodnight Kimi, I'm glad you had such a wonderful birthday, despite my inability to get you that gift. Maybe I can obtain it by Christmas."

The look of joy on Kimi's face was beautiful. Right there, in that very moment, she surpassed her mother in terms of beauty, and yet she still looked so much like her mother that it almost hurt to look at her.

"I love you Papa!" She then gave me a rib-crushing hug and a quick kiss on the check before turning and racing up the stairs to her nanny.

Haruhi and I retreated into my study like we usually did after Kimi went to bed. This time was a little different though.

I pulled her down onto the couch with me. I wanted to kiss her now that my dream has ended and reality has finally taken over. I'm happy, Kimi's happy, and Haruhi's happy, now I just have to make a trip to a jewelry store and make Kimi's wish come true.

We're now lying on the couch, Haruhi's on top of me and kisses are falling on me like confetti at a party. Her soft, warm body is pressing down on mine. Awakening urges that have been constantly teased for the past few months.

She's so warm, and I'm so cold after awakening from my dream. Her softness is pressing against my chest, making me groan and shift my hips, pushing up against her. As our hips begin to dance she stops the rain of kisses and begins to nibble on my ear.

I growl as a nibble sends me over the edge. We've switched positions in a heartbeat, she begins to squirm under me as I nibble at her neck, being careful to leave no marks.

I pull back some and begin unbuttoning her blouse. At the same time her fingers are busy getting my own shirt unbuttoned. Once her shirt is undone my hands are all over her.

Even though I'm enjoying myself the teasing is getting to be too much. If we don't stop now then it will be pure torture to stop later.

I pull back some and look into her haunting brown eyes. She looks so beautiful, her lips swollen from kisses and her hair going in every direction. "Haruhi, we have to stop now or…"

She just rolls her eyes, "You idiot, let's go upstairs. I've been waiting months for this."

I blink rather owlishly at her, "You have? Then why didn't you do something? Like you did that night in the car?"

"I didn't want to rush you. A little red-headed bird told me that I'm the first person you've dated since – since you became a single parent."

I know what she was originally going to say, but choose to ignore it. She obviously doesn't want to break the mood, and neither do I.

"Oh, well then…" I give her my best smirk as I stand up and lift her up into my arms. She just has time to hold her blouse closed as I open the door and proceed directly upstairs, passing a few servants along the way.

I reach my bedroom and firmly shut the door before depositing her on the bed. With her sitting there on my bed, smiling at me, I realize something. Even with no lights on my room isn't dark with her in it somehow and it most certainly isn't empty.

Just like my life.


	9. The Question

I'm awoken by the sound of the shower running. A smile slips onto my face. It's been about a week since Haruhi first stayed over.

Kimi was so excited when she saw that Haruhi was there for breakfast the morning after her birthday. We told her we had a sleepover and all she could do was smile. She knows that only really good friends have sleepovers.

Haruhi's spent almost every night since that one over here. We don't always do something, like last night, we just laid here and talked. She told me about her mother and I told her about mine.

There were tears in her eyes when I explained what happened on the day I was born. I'm so lucky to have found Haruhi again. She's become the light of my life. Between her and Kimi there's almost no darkness left. Only my heart remains dark, and that's something that can never be lit up. Your heart can only gain light from the inside. I don't have that ability. I am the Shadow King after all, my insides are shadows, all the light died before my voice even began to change.

Shaking my head I drag myself out of bed and go in search of the shower and the person residing in it. She may've gotten away with doing nothing last night, but this morning is an entirely different story. Kimi spent the night with Zackarie and Mamoru and today is a Sunday, there's nothing to stop us from enjoying ourselves.

Haruhi's still in the shower when I slip into the bathroom. I toss my robe on the floor and slip under the water. She doesn't say a word when I join her. Instead she pulls me down into a passionate kiss.

It doesn't take long for the kiss to get out of hand. Needless to say it ended with her back to the wall, fully supported by me.

When it's over we share a tender, loving kiss. My toes almost curl into the tile. She's like a breath of fresh air inside of a crowded room. She lights up the room, and yet darkness remains, hanging over my heart. I want to love her, I really do. Sometimes the world is just too cruel.

It's only after the shower, when we're drying off, that the silence is broken.

"I need to go into the office for an hour this morning. I was hoping to go there and get back before you woke up." I'm so entranced by Haruhi drying herself off that I almost miss her words.

"Oh, well, that's fine. I'll give you a ride in and then run some errands."

"Anything important?"

"Nothing earth-shattering," I say this as casually as possible. It's not a lie, though it almost feels that way. Buying Haruhi an engagement ring will not shatter the earth. That's the truth and I'm sticking to it.

She still gives me a suspicious look, but remains silent.

An hour later I'm walking into a jewelry store not far from her office in Suoh Tower.

Once the sales people realize who I am they try and press the most expensive engagement rings in the store on me.

I ignore them. I already have an idea in mind and if I can't find a ring that fits the idea I'll have one made. I do have until Christmas.

Then, just as I'm about to give up hope, I find it.

There, hidden among ordinary, boring rings, is what I'm looking for. It's a simple band of platinum with a heart shaped diamond set into it. It's simple, and yet fitting.

Five minutes later I'm walking out of the store, with the small box tucked safely in my jacket pocket. I leave saddened employees behind me. I didn't spend nearly as much money as they wanted me to.

Several weeks pass as I bide my time and wait for the proper moment. It's on a day in early August that my moment finally appears.

Kimi's spending the night at Mori and Chelsea's house. She and Rebecca are having a sleepover. Haruhi believes we're just going to have a romantic night in, just like we've done in the past.

For dinner the two of us sit on a small table for two on the balcony. Soft music plays from hidden speakers as we're served Haruhi's favorite food – fatty tuna.

Dinner passes in a happy blur for me. She looks like a fairy tale princess in the candle- and moonlight. The moon is shining down on her hair, making it seem to glow. Her eyes sparkle in the candlelight. I adore her eyes, they show such emotion. I believe that I could stare into them for days without needing food or water.

I can't believe that I'm about to do this. This will be my first real proposal. When I got married to Alianore it was more of a business deal. The two of us sat down to a lunch and decided that we were compatible, so we would follow our parents' wishes and marry.

This – this is different. If Haruhi were to refuse me – well, I don't know how I would take it. I'm not sure if my life would be over or if I would just give up on happiness. How would Kimi take it? Oh God, Kimi. She would be heartbroken if Haruhi refused. How would I tell her? How would I tell everyone else?

Wait, Kyoya, get a hold of yourself. Haruhi is perfect for you and you're perfect for her. She's not going to refuse.

Servants clear the table before bringing out coffee and dessert. The make a huge show of serving the dessert. They even have fancy covers over the food, so we can't see it.

Haruhi is smiling as they set the plates down. The coves are pulled off. I watch her face, waiting for a sign, any sign.

She gasps, color rises to her face, she looks up at me, I can see now that her eyes sparkle even more than before.

"Kyoya…" She says this softly, awe and (dare I say it?) love in her voice.

Sitting before her is a small piece of cake with a spun sugar red rose on top of it. There, in the very of the rose, lies the ring I picked out for her. It glitters in the candlelight.

When she says nothing more I force myself to speak. The words are almost impossible to utter. My throat feels tight and my palms itch. I'm so nervous that I almost can't breathe.

"Haru – Haruhi, will you marry me?"

I watch in nervous silence, my heart pounding in my chest, as she opens her mouth to answer.


	10. Too Many Punches

A smile lights up her features far more than moonlight or candlelight can.

"Yes! I love you and I'd love to be your wife, Kyoya."

I stand up and pull her into my arms, the kiss we share is full of hopes and dreams. When we finally come up for air I reach over and pluck the ring from the rose. I smile down at her as I slip it on her finger.

"Haruhi, you've just made me the happiest man in the world."

She blushes, but doesn't look away from me. After a moment she tilts her head to the side. "Isn't there something else?"

I know what she's trying to get me to say. She wants me to say that I love her, but I can't, that would be lying, and I don't lie. I can't honestly say I love her either. I'm the Shadow King, not the Prince. A shadow hangs over the spot where my heart should be. I can't lie, so I try and deflect her question. It always worked with Alianore.

"Haruhi, there isn't anything else. You're the light of my life and you make Kimi and me happier than we've been in years."

Her eyes slowly narrow and she pulls away from me some. "Kyoya, you're avoiding the topic. I told you I loved you, yet all you say is that I make you and Kimi happy?"

Panic begins to rise in my chest. This is not going according to plan, everything is beginning to slip through my fingers and I can't stop it.

"It's the truth; you do make Kimi and me happy. She loves you."

For the first time in my life I see real anger flash in Haruhi's eyes. "I'm glad Kimi loves me, I love her also. She's not the one I'm marrying though. I'm marrying you, and I love you. Now, since you can't seem to answer the question, I'll point it out for you. Do you love me?"

Panic is overwhelming me for the first time in my life. This situation is outside of my control, just like the episodes with my father as a child. I know the only way to save this is to tell her the entire truth. She loves me, she'll understand, she may not like it, but she'll understand.

"Haruhi, I-I can't love you." Before I can continue the doors bang open and a breathless servant is standing there.

As soon as I face him he begins to speak in a rushed, frightened tone. Only certain words stand out in my mind. They barely make sense, a feeling of hatred, mixed with loathing creeps through my veins. "Sir, a phone call, the hospital, your father, heart attack."

Part of me wants to ignore it. I hadn't seen my father since I had started dating Haruhi. Why should I go rushing to his bedside when he never cared about me? My place was here, with Haruhi, my fiancée.

I wave a hand to dismiss the servant and turn my attention back to Haruhi. She's staring at me, tears in her eyes.

I'm about to explain why exactly I can't love her when my cell phone rings. At the moment it's set so that it will only ring for one person. Sure enough, I look down and see that it's Mori calling.

I answer it, my first thought being that something is the matter with Kimi.

"Mori, is everything alright? Why are you calling?"

"Kimi's fine. I dropped her off with your sister at the hospital." Mori's voice was calm and rational, as if he was discussing what to order for dinner.

A vein began to throb in my temple. Panic began to give way to anger. "You did WHAT? I would NEVER trust my daughter to them, not even Fuyumi! Mori! I thought you knew better!"

As I'm shouting I'm tearing through the house, I have to get to the hospital as soon as possible. I have to stop my father or brothers from doing something to Kimi. Also, I haven't let them even see her since Alianore's funeral. She's got to be scared out of her wits!

"What's wrong with Fuyumi?" Mori asks this in a voice so calm and composed that it sends a calming shockwave through me as I practically throw myself into the car that's been brought around.

"Mori! Don't you know that she'll do ANYTHING to make my father happy? I only trust her with Kimi if my father and brothers aren't anywhere nearby."

"Sorry," he says simply.

I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to calm myself before I arrive at the hospital. I can't confront my family as anything other than cool and collected. That would be disastrous.

"Just, next time, please, call me before you drop her off anywhere. Please!" I stressed the last word, hoping that it would have an effect on Mori.

"Want me to get her?"

"No, you'd have to use force to get her. I'm on my way there right now."

"Ok, call if you need me."

"I will."

By now we're almost to the hospital, only a block away. A realization hits me – I ran off without telling Haruhi why. It's not in her to be angry, but she has to be worried and upset. An instant later I'm listening to her phone ring. It goes to voicemail. I hang up and call her again. She still doesn't answer, so I leave a voicemail this time, we're in the parking lot now, I don't have time to call her again.

"Haruhi, I'm sorry I ran off. My family has their hands on Kimi. Call me, please, I need to explain."

Before the car pulls to a full stop I've thrown open the door and hit the ground running. The nurse at the desk inside directs me to down a hallway to a private waiting room off the emergency room. My father owns the hospital so they put us in there, as a gesture of respect.

The door makes a loud bang as it hits the wall. I stand there for a second taking in the situation.

Fuyumi was sitting with her husband; her hand was resting protectively over her slightly rounded stomach as she sobbed into a handkerchief – completely oblivious to everything else in the room. Her husband had his arm around her, trying to comfort her.

Akito had a worried look on his face and was pursuing something on his iPad. His wife was distracting their two-year old with cheerios.

Yuuichi was the one that drew my eye. He was holding a struggling Kimi in his arms. His wife was dozing in the chair next to him, she already looked completely hammered and it wasn't even eight yet. Their little boy, Kikuko, had an intensely smug expression on his face as he watched his father attempt to spank MY daughter.

I saw red.

NOBODY hit my daughter!

I was across the room in an instant, an inhuman sound coming from my throat. Yuuichi never knew what hit him. He went flying backwards as I grabbed Kimi and held her sobbing form in my arms. There were several scratches on her arms and her hair ties were almost pulled out entirely.

I glared at my family as I strode to the door. They were all watching me with shocked expressions. I turned to face them in the doorway, my scariest expression on as Kimi cried into my shoulder.

"I never want to see ANY of you again. Send a not to my lawyer if Father dies."

I spin on my heels and almost make it out of the room before Yuuichi speaks.

"I was only giving your brat what she deserved! She called my boy a name!"

I look over my shoulder coolly, "Oh? Was that before or after he messed up her hair and scratched her arms?"

Yuuichi's mouth flops open and closed like a fish.

I ignore him and head out of the room. I'm almost to the exit when Fuyumi grabs my arm, tears still pouring out of her eyes.

"I'm sorry Kyoya! I was so upset about father that I didn't –"

I cut her off. "Fuyumi, I can't believe that you were too upset worrying about a man that has never cared about you and never will that you didn't notice a little girl that loves you getting tortured by a man she barely knows. Mori gave her to YOU to watch, yet you let Kikuko scratch her and Yuuichi try and spank her?" I shook my head sadly and walked out and got into the still waiting car. Just before the door closes I hear her cry out one last time.

"Kyoya!" There's real pain in her voice, but I ignore it. I may forgive her in time, but not today. And I'll never trust her with Kimi again.

We drive off as Kimi trembles and sobs in my arms. I rub her back as I make little crooning noises that Alianore used to make when she rocked Kimi to sleep.

Anger and adrenaline are coursing through my veins as we head back to the house. I've never felt so much emotion in my life. How DARE he try and hit my daughter? Now that I'm calming down some a seed of an idea appears. I'm going to ruin them, all of them, for what they did. When I'm through they'll be living on the streets. You DON'T hurt those that I love and get away with it.

Wait.

Love.

Did I just say that I love Kimi?

There's a feeling inside of me.

Something's shifting and changing.

It's as if a switch was flipped.

The shadow, it's gone. I can't feel it anymore. I think I left it in the waiting room. With the people that gave it to me.

Could it be true? Do I really love Kimi?

Does this mean I could love Haruhi also?

Does this mean I do love Haruhi already?

The realization hits me like one of Mori's punches.

I love Haruhi.

Oh God, I really screwed up tonight. I hope she's still at my house. She's Haruhi, once I tell her the entire story she'll understand, she has to. She's the love of my life. She's shined light onto what was only shadow.

As soon as we get to the house I deposit Kimi in her bed, she fell asleep on the ride home. I'll talk to her in the morning, if she wants to. I'm sure she'll have questions about what happened tonight.

I have a quick word with the nanny, letting her know what happened tonight, just in case Kimi has a nightmare.

I'm heading towards the balcony when I pass a servant in the hallway. I snag his arm.

"Is Miss Fujioka still here?" I hear a trace of nervousness in my voice and curse myself for it. I NEVER show unintended emotion, and yet I've shown so much tonight. What's wrong with me?

"I'm sorry, sir. She left not long after you did. She did leave a note for you on the balcony. We haven't touched anything out there, just in case."

I release his arm and hurry to the balcony. She left me a note? Why didn't she just answer my call? Her phone must've been ringing while she was writing the note.

I throw open the doors to the balcony, like the servant did earlier. My heart stops for a moment when I see what's on the table.

There is her dessert, lying untouched, with the ring lying, yet again, among the rose's petals. There's a neatly folded note lying on the plate next to the cake. Feeling terrified, I pick it up and begin to read:

Kyoya,

I'm not sure why you ran off. I assume it has something to do with Kimi. I can't stay here and tell you this. It's too painful. I've changed my mind. I won't marry you. I thought you felt the same way for me that I felt for you. I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry you can't love me. I assume it's because you loved Alianore too much to love another. You two were perfect for each other. Give my love to Kimi and let her know I'll see her when you go to Hong Kong on business next month. I'll be sure to stop by the Suoh Residence. Here's the ring back, I'm sorry I didn't get to wear it for very long. I would've loved to be a mother to her, but I can't marry a man that doesn't love me.

I love you,

Haruhi

I feel my heart breaking as I read this. She thinks I loved Alianore? That's why she returned the ring? I married Alianore because we were compatible. It may've looked that way, but I didn't marry her for my father. I didn't marry her for love either. I've only ever felt love for two people – Kimi and Haruhi.

Am I doomed to be alone and worthless? Just like my father has told me many times?

I've been hit with too many punches tonight. My brain won't function. I have no shadow to hide behind.

Blindly, I stumble back into the house and up to Kimi's room. Numbly, I gently shut the door between Kimi's room and the nanny's room. Tiredly, I fall onto Kimi's bed and hold her in my arms as tears begin to slip from beneath my lashes. Resolutely, I decide that tomorrow I'll fight, but tonight –tonight I'll hold the only love I have for certain close.

Just in case.


	11. Where's Haruhi?

I awoke as the sun was rising. Opening my eyes, the first thing I see is Kimi, her face almost touching mine, eyes wide with confusion.

"Papa, why are you in my bed with your shoes on?" She asks once she sees that I'm awake.

Right then, I come closer to lying than I ever have before. "I was hugging you and I feel asleep."

With all the information I left out of that sentence, which had to be the closest to a lie I've ever gotten. Why am I in Kimi's bed anyway?

As I sit up everything from last night hits me and I almost fall back down. I reach up and rub my eyes, only to realize that my glasses are missing and I didn't remember taking them off last night.

"Kimi, do you see my glasses?" I slip off the bed and begin looking among all her pillows and blankets.

"They're right her Papa, I took them off you when I woke up." She hands me the glasses and I slip them on. The room comes into focus and a plan for my dad begins to appear.

But first things first, I sit back down and motion for Kimi to sit on my lap. She does so happily, I don't let her sit there as often as she likes anymore. She's getting too big.

A cuddle her in my arms as I ask my question. If she gets upset I want to be there to comfort her immediately. "Are you alright after what happened last night?"

A shadow I've never seen before flits across her face. "Papa, they scared me." Her voice is small and scared.

I pull her closer, rubbing her back as I try and comfort her with words. "Kimi, you're never going to see them again. Papa loves you too much to let them near you."

She pulls away a little, so that she can look me in the eyes. "Papa…you've never said that before." Her face is full of amazement and love, the shadow nowhere to be seen.

"Said what, sweetie?"

"That you love me."

I know I've never said it to her, I can't lie, but she had noticed? Had she missed those words so much that she kept track, to see if I ever said them? Damn my brothers and father for making me that way. And damn myself for letting them.

"Kimi," I pull back so we can look each other in the eye, "I have always loved you. I've just never been able to say it before. That man last night, that was my brother, he and my father made sure I never could say the words. But I've always felt them, right here." I put her small hand over my heart and she smiles brightly.

"I love you too, Papa! But do you know what?"

"What?"

"I think I like Mama's family more than yours."

I chuckle, "That's because they give you presents isn't it?"

She vehemently shakes her head, not quite realizing that I was teasing. "No, they're just nicer. They don't scare me."

"That's true. Now, I have some errands to run, you want to go see Uncle Zackarie and Uncle Mamoru? I think they have a book signing today, for their new travel guide series. You know they love to have you along."

"Really? I thought you said I couldn't go!"

I chuckle once more, I've never really been able to enjoy her childish exuberance this much, there was always a barrier made of shadow stopping me. "Well, I changed my mind. Now, why don't you get dressed and I'll go change and call them?"

"Ok!" I watch in mild amusement as she jumps off the bed and rushes into her bathroom.

As I'm heading to my room I place a quick call to Zackarie. He picks up after a couple rings, sounding really groggy and out of it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Zack, It's Kyoya. Something happened last night and I need you to watch Kimi for awhile today."

I can hear him trying to wake up some. "Huh? What happened?"

"She met Yuuichi."

That one sentence wakes him up completely. "Mamoru and I'll be over in half an hour." I can hear Mamoru mumbling in the background about it being too early.

"Thanks, she really needs a distraction and a reminder that she has a good uncle."

"Ok, see you soon."

I hang up and proceed to get ready. I meet up with Kimi down in the dining room. Her nanny must've woken up, because she has cute ribbons tied above each ear. She chatters excitedly while we eat. We're almost done when Zackarie and Mamoru enter the room.

"Something smells good!" Zackarie declares loudly as Kimi squeals in delight and runs across the room to throw herself into his arms.

"Hey there squirt!" Mamoru says cheerfully as he ruffles her hair.

Those two really deserve a child of their own. They're so good with children and their love is so strong. But their lifestyle doesn't suit a child, what with the constant travel. Children need a stable home and these two don't have that, despite their stable marriage.

I meticulously dab at my mouth with a napkin before standing up. "Well, I'm done with breakfast. You three have fun, I'll be on my cell."

"Bye, Papa!" Kimi calls from her uncle's arms.

Now I need to go win Haruhi back, it's so early she has to still be at her apartment.

As we drive I make a quick call to my lawyer, Mr. Tachiki. I leave him with some specific orders and he'll spend the rest of the week laying the groundwork for my revenge. Up until now I've left my family alone, trying to ignore them, but not anymore. They don't deserve to be ignored, they deserve to be obliterated.

I'm across town in record time and have to do my best not to sprint through the lobby of her apartment building. I'm feeling so much more alive, more than I ever have before. Once I explain things to Haruhi, she'll understand, she always does, and she's too rational and forgiving not to.

Before I know it I'm knocking on her door, when I get no response my knocking increases. Before I know it I'm pounding, desperation clearly evident every time my fist hits the door.

"HEY! Keep it down out here!" Someone behind me yells this, I'm sure the voice is familiar, but I can't place it, not with the panic beginning to flow through my veins.

I whip around, a retort on the end of tongue, but I'm stopped by the sight before me. Hikaru is standing there, in pajama bottoms. There are three faces peering around him. Mei is there in a silky bathrobe, completely makeup-less and not looking half bad. Kaoru is there also, dressed the same as Hikaru, but no anger on his face, only curiosity. Kanoya is also there, a bathrobe on and a blush creeping up her cheeks as she realizes who I am.

I really don't want to know what they're all doing in Mei's one bedroom apartment, do I?

No, I don't.

I want to know where Haruhi is.

"Where's Haruhi?"

Mei blinked at me for a moment before responding. "She went on a business trip for Tamaki, didn't you know? She texted me last night and asked me to water her plants for the next two weeks."

Hikaru and Kaoru tilted their heads to the side, matching suspicious looks appearing on their faces. "Why don't you know?"

"We had a misunderstanding. She thinks I'm still in love with Alianore, instead of her. I'm trying to clear that up, but I couldn't last night because Kimi had a run in with Yuuichi and I had to protect her."

I'm not sure why I told them so much. I usually like to keep details to myself, but I'm sure that if I don't tell them everything they're going to see it the wrong way and think I proposed without loving Haruhi, which is actually true, but I do love her now, so that is unnecessary and outdated information.

"Do you love her?" I'm not sure which one of them asked that, it might've been all four, and it might've been only two of them.

"Yes, I love her more than anyone, except Kimi."

Happy smiles appear on everyone's faces. They know I don't lie.

"She's gone to London to help set up plans to remodel a hotel on Russell Square. I'm not sure which hotel. She's been refusing to do it because of you and Kimi, I think Tamaki was surprised when she called last night." Kaoru said mildly.

Now I was confused. "How do you know Tamaki was surprised?"

"We all had dinner with him and Ayame last night. They refused to have dessert though." Hikaru gave me a wicked grin.

I really didn't want to know. I keep telling myself that, trying to put my unsaitable curiosity out of my mind. "Alright, I've got to go."

I pull out my cell phone as I hop in the elevator, leaving three smirking and one smiling face behind me. Kanoya isn't the smirking sort. After a quick call to my secretary I have two business class tickets to Heathrow Airport in London. Kimi and I are going to go after the light of our life. I'm not going to leave her here by herself, not with my family nosing around. Now, I just have to track my brother-in-laws and daughter down…


	12. Here I Come

It didn't take me very long to track them down. There book signing hadn't started yet so the three of them were in a park not very far from the bookstore.

I had called them to see where they were and – amazingly enough – they were actually where they said they were. This was unusual for Zackarie, but since Mamoru was the one I talked to, I should have expected it.

Mamoru was sitting on a bench, reading a book. I couldn't see Zackarie or Kimi, but I was sure they were around somewhere.

Mamoru looked up as I approached, "Well, where did you run off to this morning?"

I took a seat next to him before answering, "I had to find Haruhi, we had a misunderstanding last night and she's not answering my calls."

"She's not?" Mamoru sounded surprised. That was expected, he knew Haruhi almost as well as anyone could. He was her vice president in the Host Club after Tamaki and I graduated.

"No, and I can't really blame her either. She thinks I'm still in love with Alianore."

"Ow, why does she think that?" He closed his book and turned to face me, all of his attention now focused on Haruhi and me. Mamoru is like that, he'll drop whatever he's doing to help someone. He's changed so much since I first met him though. He was just a shy kid that had grown up in England, despite his Japanese heritage. He was barely able to say hello to me when I first met him. It was Haruhi who saw the potential in him and got him to join the Host Club and be her vice president. Now look at him - quite successful, confident, and married to the love of his life.

I wish I was where he is now.

"Because I didn't think I could love anyone. It wasn't until I confronted my brother last night and rescued Kimi that I was able to overcome my childhood and love." I'm not really sure why I'm telling him this, maybe because he's the only person I've met that is anywhere close to me in personality. He's not as sneaky or as cruel as I can be, but he keeps his cards hidden and drops whatever he's doing for those he cares for.

"Really? Is that why you never said 'I love you' to Alianore?" When I looked at him in surprise he just shrugged, "She told Zackarie and me everything about your relationship – even the fact that you kiss better than Kassanoda." He gave me a small smirk when he disclosed this information.

I just chuckled mildly, "I knew she told you things, I just didn't think it was that much. Now, where's Kimi? We've got a plane to catch this afternoon and we need to pack."

"Oh? Where are you going?"

"England. We're going after Haruhi. I'm not going to let her get away. I don't think I can live without her and I know Kimi doesn't want to."

"Ah," his smirk changed to a soft smile. "We always thought the two of you would be perfect together. Even Alianore wondered sometimes if the two of you shouldn't have married."

That surprised me, "Really? She thought that?"

The two of us began walking through the trees, Mamoru supposedly leading me to Zackarie and Kimi.

"Yes, she said that there was always something in the air whenever the two of you were together. She knew you weren't cheating on her, she just thought that the two of you were made for each other."

These words lifted off the last few measures of insecurity and doubt. Insecurity and doubt that I hadn't even realized I had. It was as if Alianore was using our brother-in-law to show her approval of my relationship with Haruhi. I'm glad, I think the mother should approve of the stepmother.

When we found Zackarie and Kimi I couldn't keep a huge smile from covering my face.

Zackarie had unearthed some old hula-hoops and was trying to teach Kimi how to use them. If I had a video camera….

"Papa!" Kimi stops rolling her hips and let the hula hoop fall to the ground as she sprints across the ground and into my arms.

I give her a hug before asking, "Having fun!"

"Of course! I love Uncle Zack and Uncle Mamoru!"

I chuckle, she's always so enthusiastic. "That's good, now how do you feel about going on a trip?"

Her eyes light up like a flashlight in the darkness. "A trip? Is Miss Haruhi going to come also?"

"Actually, she's on a trip right now. We're going to join her."

I don't think I've ever seen this much excitement on her face before, "REALLY?"

I can't help but laugh, "Yes, really, we leave today."

"Yay! You hear that Uncle Zack and Uncle Mamoru? I'm going on a trip!" She suddenly stops her yelling and looks at me again, "Oh, Papa, where are we going?"

"You know that book you got for your birthday?"

"Yes."

"Remember the picture of the giant Ferris Wheel on the river?"

"Yes!"

"Well, that's where we're going. Where your Uncle Mamoru grew up, England."

"Yay!" She begins jumping and dancing around while Zackarie, Mamoru, and I stand there and try and keep tabs on our amusement. Zackarie loses control first, Mamoru and I quickly follow suit.

I'm sure if anyone saw us right then they must've thought we were insane. Luckily it was early enough that not many people were around.

It took a little while, but I eventually got Kimi home. As we left I watched Zackarie and Mamoru walk off to their book signing, holding hands. They really were such a cute and happy couple.

I spent most of the rest of the day on the phone with my lawyer, Mr. Tachiki, and various other people that owe me favors.

I'm still sending off emails up to when they ask us to turn off all electronic devices for takeoff. I put my phone away then and concentrate on Kimi.

She was so excited that she was bouncing up and down in her overly large seat. She's never been on a plane before. I've always left her in Japan when I left on a trip. Not that we haven't taken trips before, we've gone all over Japan and I even got her a passport years ago. We've just never had the chance before.

As we taxi towards the runway I hand her a stick of gum and take one for myself. I'm not sure how the altitude change will affect her.

She's actually perfectly fine with it, her face pressed to window as we leave the ground behind.

The flight passes all too slowly for me. My thoughts keep straying towards Haruhi, even as I try and distract myself by watching movies on the personal TV. Kimi doesn't seem to mind the length of the flight. She watched cartoons on her personal TV until she fell asleep.

I put a blanket over her and try to catch some sleep myself. I'm going to need to be wide awake when I meet with Haruhi and try to explain things.

I eventually fall asleep and when I wake up we're preparing to land at Heathrow Airport in England.

Haruhi, here I come.


	13. Maybes

It's only five in the morning here in London. The skies are just beginning to light up as we travel down long, ugly corridors to customs.

It takes awhile, but eventually we're through and picking up our bags. Kimi's tired, but that isn't stopping her from practically jumping out of her skin with excitement.

Once we have our bags we meet our driver, a relaxed Jamaican holding a sign that says "Ootori". I can't believe they spelled our name wrong. I'm going to have a word with my secretary when we get home.

He drives us to the Athenaeum Hotel. It's on the edge of Green Park, near Buckingham Palace. It's only just seven so I put off looking for Haruhi just yet. I'm not sure where she's staying, but I do know that she'll be at the Imperial Hotel in a couple of hours.

I pick up the key for the suite Kimi and I have booked. Naturally, we have the rooftop suite. As soon as the bellhop opens the door for us Kimi screams in delight and runs inside. She runs right through the dining area and out onto the balcony. She can see the Millennium Wheel from there.

I tip the bellhop once he puts our bags away, and close the door behind him. I wander out to the balcony and stare out at the city. London is beautiful, there's really no other city quite like it.

Sure, Tokyo is amazing, but it's extremely modern in most places. To foreigners the business district looks unworldly. London is different; it's a mix of classic stone and modern glass buildings.

Down below is Green Park, which is adjacent to Buckingham Palace, the main residence of the British Royal Family.

Straight ahead of us, soaring above the buildings, is the Millennium Wheel. It's the largest observation wheel in the world and actually sits over the River Thames. Kimi just calls it the biggest Ferris Wheel in the world. I'm going to have to make sure she rides that before we leave. She won't let me forget it if we don't.

"Papa, are we going to go on the Ferris Wheel today?" Kimi asks me excitedly.

"Probably not, though we will go on it before we go home. We need to go grab some breakfast and then find Haruhi."

"Yay! Miss Haruhi!" Kimi cheers as she follows me inside.

We brush our teeth, shower, and change clothes before heading down to the restaurant. After sitting on an airplane for so long I have to get cleaned up. I always feel so rumpled and dirty after being on a public plane, even if I do fly in Business Class.

Breakfast here is delicious. Though Kimi did freak a little when she realized there was no miso soup. She didn't miss it once she got bacon, sausage, eggs, toast, and fresh fruit. I don't think I've ever seen her eat so much at breakfast before.

After we eat we walk down to the Green Park Station. Kimi's excited about riding the London Underground for the first time. I'd much prefer to take a cab to the Imperial Hotel, but this is a new experience for her so I buy us tickets and we board the northbound Piccadilly Line.

We get off five stops later at Russell Square Station.

From there it's just a short walk down to Russell Square. I hold her hand as we make our way around the edge of the square to the Imperial Hotel. It's rather crowded and I don't want us to get separated. She doesn't have a cell phone yet, so getting separated would be bad.

We pass an electronic store and then duck down a tunnel through the endless wall of buildings. On the other side of the tunnel is a small courtyard with a fountain in the middle.

Straight ahead of us there's a small casino that's closed at this hour. To our left is the hotel entrance. It's locked, but I knock on it until someone appears.

It's a gentlemen in baggy work clothes.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, I'm looking for Miss Fujioka. She's the liaison from Suoh Industries."

"Ah, she's in the restaurant, overseeing the packing. Come on in." He held the door open wide and let Kimi and me in. Then he pointed us down a hallway to our left.

We followed the hallway to a large room filled with people packing up tables, chairs, tablecloths, and other eating equipment.

I can see why Tamaki's having this place redone. It looks like it stepped out of the seventies. It's a good location though for a mid-grade hotel. It will never be as good as the place Kimi and I are at, if only because of location.

Before I can fully survey the chaos in front of me, my eyes are drawn to the only spot of calm in the room.

Haruhi is standing there, checking off things on her iPad as she talks to someone. My heart skips a beat upon seeing her. Now that I realize I love her, she looks even more beautiful.

I can't believe that I thought I couldn't love anyone, let alone her. She's the most wonderful and perfect woman in the world. Or at least she is until Kimi grows up.

"Miss Haruhi!" Kimi yells out as she sprints across the room and into Haruhi's arms.

There's such a strong look of shock on Haruhi's face as she envelopes Kimi in a hug that I almost burst out laughing. I don't laugh, but I do smile as I stride across the room towards them.

Haruhi finally realizes that I'm there also; she looks over Kimi's head and meets my gaze. I feel sparks shoot through the air as our eyes make contact. There's a horrible mixture of happiness and pain in her eyes. I just want to wipe the pain away and leave only the happiness behind.

Before I know it, I'm right in front of her. I've been thinking about what to say ever since we left Tokyo, but all I can manage now is, "Hello, Haruhi." I put as much love and caring into my tone as I can.

"Hi," she says back softly as I see tears hover at the corners of her eyes.

We stand there, Kimi between us, for what could've been seconds or centuries. I'm not sure and I don't think I'll ever be sure.

Finally, words come to me as I try and remember all the plans I came up with to win her back. "We need to talk; will you have dinner with me tonight?"

She stares at me, her eyes piercing as she attempts to read my mind and soul. I must've shown her what she wanted to see, because she smiles just a little and says, "I'd love to."

My breath hitches and my heart beats faster in excitement. She agreed. I haven't really lost her.

Maybe, just maybe, I haven't ruined my happy ending.


	14. A Wave of Happiness

Haruhi had work to do and I didn't want to push my luck, so Kimi and I leave her at the Imperial Hotel and go off to amuse ourselves for the day.

Since we were so close we wandered down the road to the British Museum. Kimi spent an inordinate amount of time looking at the Egyptian things. I have the feeling that's where she wants to go to next. She definitely has her uncle's wanderlust.

After the museum we rode a double-decker bus over to Leicester Square. Kimi insisted that we sit on the top so she could stare down at the cars below us. I couldn't deny her; I was too thrilled at having Haruhi agree to talk to me. I felt like I was floating through London.

At Leicester Square I bought two tickets for Phantom of the Opera. If dinner and our talk went well I wanted to take her to see a show. You can't come to London without seeing one of the many productions here after all.

Since it was beginning to look like rain I hired a taxi and had it take us up to Harrods. We ate lunch at the sushi bar in the food hall there. Then I bought Kimi a chocolate covered banana from the sweets counter. I offered to get her something sweeter, but she said that was sweet enough. I guess she's more like me than I thought.

We spent about an hour wandering around Harrods. Kimi was running all over the place, trying to look at everything, while I responded to emails on my phone.

Everything was going well in Japan. Things had actually moved much faster than I expected. Apparently a lot of people were willing to help take down the Ohtori Family, myself and Kimi excluded of course.

By this time tomorrow I'll own every asset the Ohtori Family has.

There was an email from my lawyer letting me know that my father was on the road to recovery. I was actually quite happy about that. If he was dead he wouldn't be able to fully enjoy my revenge. I know that's a cold thought, but he's put me through so much pain.

I read my last email while leaning against the wall in the Harrods Pet Shop while Kimi watched the kittens and puppies with a look of pure enjoyment on her face. It was an email from Fuyumi.

Kyoya,

I know nothing I can say will make up for what happened the other night. I'm not sure why I'm so attached to father, despite his disdain and hatred of me. Yes, I know he hates me, just like he hates you. And I also know why he hates us. I don't think you've ever found out, despite your efforts. I'm hated because I'm the girl that was never supposed to be born. I've spent my whole life trying to prove that a girl can be as useful as a boy, if in different ways. I've become so obsessed with this that I was heartbroken that he might die before I could prove myself. I'm sorry Kimi got hurt because of me. I've had a long talk with my husband and we've decided to part ways completely with the Ohtori Family, both personally and professionally. We sold all of our stock for an enormous amount of money this morning.

I smiled at that line; I was the one who bought the stock.

Back to what I was saying: you're hated because you were the unplanned third son. You were a complete accident. Father wanted Mother to have an abortion, but she refused for religious reasons. He's always hated you because of that, as well as for the fact that he blames you for her death.

Our brothers hate you because father hates you and because you've surpassed them. You alone are worth more than all of them in every way imaginable. I'd understand if you want nothing to do with me after what happened. But I wanted you to know my side. I do love you and Kimi more than anyone, except my husband and unborn child.

Love,

Fuyumi

My thoughts and emotions are torn by Fuyumi's email. I want to trust her and forgive her, especially now that I know I can love, but I can't forget the other night. Not just yet.

Putting off sending a reply I collect Kimika and we catch a cab back to the hotel. It's too early for me to meet up with Haruhi, so I make arrangements for her to have a nanny while I'm on my date with Haruhi. Then the two of us go wander around Green Park and Buckingham Palace for about an hour.

It doesn't take very long for me to get showered and ready for the date. Before I know it I'm at Leicester Square, dressed in a suit, wearing my heart on my sleeve, and looking around for her.

It only takes me a few seconds to find her. She's seated on a park bench in a simple skirt and blouse, with a pair of dainty sandals on her feet. She looks like innocence incarnated.

I slowly wander over to her. "Hi," I say as I take a seat next to her.

"Hi," she says softly back. She doesn't look at me, she continues to watch the pigeons flitting about around the square.

I stare at the pigeons also, trying to find the right words to say. I don't want to screw this up, I can't screw this up. My life will probably end if I do screw this up. I know Kimi would never speak to me again if I screw this up, that is, she would, if she even knew Haruhi and I were having a misunderstanding.

I finally find the words to break the silence. "Haruhi, you misunderstood my words the other night?"

"Oh?" She asks skeptically.

"Yes, when I said I couldn't love you, I meant that I couldn't love anyone. It was physically impossible for me to love anyone."

She latches on to one word in my sentence, "Was?"

"Yes, was. Growing up I was surrounded by hatred and disinterest. I never thought I could ever even have friends, that is, until Tamaki stepped into my world and lit it up. That didn't change my ideas on love. I thought that love was a myth and so was happiness. It wasn't until you stepped back into my life that I began to realize that I was wrong. At first I only believed happiness existed. Then, I realized love existed, but I never thought I could love, I believed that my father had crushed my ability to love, until a couple nights ago."

"Before or after you said you could never love me?" I glance over at Haruhi and see tears sparkling in her eyes.

"After. I had just rescued Kimi from my family and as I held her crying form in the car I realized that I honestly loved her. With that realization it was like a floodgate opened up inside of me. I loved her and I realized that I loved you. I was going to tell you immediately, but when I got home you were gone and your note tore me to pieces. I practically passed out from emotional overload. When I went to find you the next morning, you were gone."

"I see," she said softly, still not looking at me.

I'm growing desperate, unable to tell if my words are having an effect or not, fear is trying to creep into my heart, I can't lose her, I just can't.

"Haruhi let me try this again," I whisper softly as I slip off the bench and kneel in front of her, pulling a small box out of my pocket as I do so. "Haruhi, I love you. You are the light of my life, you've chased away the shadows in my soul and I can't live without you. Please, will you marry me?"

Tears are openly pouring down her face now as she looks at me. Then a small smile creeps across her face. An instant later she's in my arms, crying softly and whispering "yes" over and over again.

It's probably the happiest moment of my life.

We spent what could've been forever in each other's arms, just kneeling in front of the bench. Eventually though, we have to eat. We don't really care what we eat though, so we go to the McDonalds on the edge of the square and relived a meal we ate in back in highs school on the day Tamaki got Antoinette.

After our dinner we sat through a beautiful production of The Phantom of the Opera. The entire evening we held hands. I didn't even let go when I helped her into the cab for the ride back to my hotel. I wouldn't run the risk of losing her again.

The next morning Haruhi and I were sitting on the balcony, eating breakfast, when Kimi wandered out, still in her little pink nightgown.

"Miss Haruhi, why are you hear so early?" Kimi asks, still rubbing sleep from her eyes.

I answer for Haruhi, "She's here because Christmas came early."

The two of them stare at me for a moment, and then Kimi realizes what I mean. Her face lights up like a star as she lets out a huge squeal of delight and throws herself at Haruhi, squeezing her tight.

A wave of happiness washes through me as I see the two people I love most in the entire world across the small table from me.


	15. Kimi

It's amazing how much the people we interact with affect us. In some ways they affect us more than we affect ourselves.

I still remember the first time I saw Miss Haruhi with my father. He seemed so different when she was nearby, as if he had just stepped into a fairy tale. I'd never seen him so happy before.

Over the next few months I watched him become even happier as the two of them fell in love. He finally even said "I love you" to me. I was so happy when he said that, it was like I was suddenly free to love anyone and everyone now that my father told me that he loved me.

It was a two days later that I woke up to find the two of them sitting on the balcony overlooking Green Park and Buckingham Palace in London. When I remember that moment I still feel the same excitement rush through my veins that I felt when I realized that Christmas had come early and that they were engaged.

It was as if all of my dreams had come true.

The next few months were some of the most exciting in my life.

Miss Haruhi was busy with her friend Miss Mei. The two of them planned the wedding, though really, it was more Miss Mei planning and Miss Haruhi just agreeing. Miss Mei's friend, Miss Kanoya, also helped plan. She was in charge of the menu. The two of them pulled off an amazing wedding and reception for Papa and Miss Haruhi.

The wedding was absolutely gorgeous. It was a small little ceremony on Christmas Day. They picked that day so that their wedding was a real Christmas present for all three of us. Mr. Tamaki was the best man and Miss Mei was the maid of honor.

I got to be the flower girl. Genji and Fusao were the ring bearers. Mr. Hunny and Miss Reiko looked so proud of their boys.

Miss Haruhi looked amazing. She wore a dress that Mr. Hikaru and Mr. Kaoru designed for her. I personally thought she looked like a fairy tale princess.

The wedding was the first time I saw Aunt Fuyumi since the events at the hospital. That was the first time Papa let her anywhere near me. I don't think he'd forgiven her completely yet, but he definitely didn't hate her like he hated his brothers or father.

What he did to them was probably the worst thing he could've done.

He ruined them.

Completely ruined them.

By the time of the wedding they barely had two cents to rub together.

My father bought enough stock so that he was the majority shareholder, and then he fired them from their own company.

Because they had no insurance they had to pay my grandfather's medical bills out of their own pockets. This, plus the inability of my aunts to curb their spending habits, resulted in disaster in just a few months.

Around New Years they gave in and sold their stock to Papa. They've struggled to make ends meet ever since. My cousin Kikuko works as a janitor at the same hospital where his father used to be the head physician. How far they've fallen.

To think, they didn't fall because of what they did to Papa as he was growing up, the fell because of what they tried to do to me.

He did this because he loved me and didn't want to see me unhappy.

I hope I love my child that much. She's almost here, you know.

The doctor says that she'll be here soon and I trust him since he is my little sister's boyfriend.

That's so odd, thinking that my baby sister has a boyfriend. I mean, I know she's twenty, but still, she's my baby sister and her boyfriend is a couple years older than me.

At least my baby brother doesn't have a girlfriend – probably because he's having too much fun in the Host Club.

She's coming!

My baby girl is coming!

I'm about to make Papa and Miss Haruhi grandparents in a few minutes.

They're going to spoil my little girl rotten aren't they?

Just like they spoiled me with love and happiness.

After all, that's all that really matters.

Making those you love happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I end it here. As their first grandchild is being born. I hope you've enjoyed this story. Please let me know your thoughts and feelings. I was trying something new with this story - first person introspective (I think I made up that name, lol). Where events happen, but most of the changes and growth of the main character are internal. Honestly, I'll say that I had absolutely nothing planned when I started writing the first chapter. The only thought in my head was Kyoya not believing in love or happiness. Over the course of the first chapter I figured out in which direction I wanted this story to go and then just took off with it. Did I intend to have Kyoya's father have a heart attack from the beginning? No, I just came up with it to explain why Kyoya couldn't explain to Haruhi right away. Did I intend to send them off to London in the beginning? Nope, I did it just so I could stretch out the drama.
> 
> There, that's the big secret I've been hiding from everyone while I wrote this. I honestly just let Kyoya control the story. I let him grow and develop at his own pace. I'm sure if you look back at my other chapters you may see this.
> 
> Also, for more KyoyaxHaruhi goodness from me take a look at 'A Facade of a Relationship' or 'Crossroads'. If you're really a fan of TamakixHaruhi then take a look at 'Alphabet'.


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